Moving in withMom at Midlife

.                                                       What’s For Dinner?

There is a new movement going on among those over 40 years of age!  Many in this age segment are losing their jobs and/or their health and as a result are encountering financial problems.  The Associate Director of the Center for Health Policy Research at UCLA, Steven Wallace refers to this group as “the hidden group”. We haven’t heard much about them but their numbers are growing.

Moving back in with your parent(s) can be demoralizing and cause one to make some awkward adjustments to their lifestyle.  One woman in Illinois who lost her tech job after 20 years tells of moving in with her mother while attending school, and working a retail job.  She also makes meals for her mom and struggles with the isolation she feels from her old friends who live miles away.  She also has to deal with her mom becoming overprotective of her and making her feel like a teenager. She does admit that she finds the time spent watching TV with her mom is fun and helping to forge a newer bond with her.

 

.                                                          Financial Factors

An interesting stat: California boasts that people aged 50-65 who are living with their parents rose 68% from 2006-2012.  The national trend is apparently the same.

Some of the adult children are caring for their parent(s) health, but more of this movement is spurred on by financial setbacks.  The unemployable among this age group of 45+ for at least a year is sticking at higher levels than before the recession reports the Bureau of Labor Statistics Data.

This later in life rejoining with parents in the home setting can accelerate the effects of being jobless and swirl family roles.  The ever emerging trend  toward self care is extremely difficult when an adult child is put in this new role.

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                                                           How To Make It Work

Social psychologist, Susan Newman gives some advice on how to ensure the adjustment is somewhat easier.  She claims it’s important to discuss everyone’s expectations before moving in with a parent.  For example, who pays the bills?, How will you share food?, who will fill the car with gas? How much personal time will you get?

Some adult children report positive experiences when moving back home with parents.  One woman moved in with an 11 year old daughter.  Her mom helped take care of her and made a strong bond wit her.  The same situation happened to a man who found his relationship with his mother become strengthened by watching her take care of and relate to his 3 year old son.

Dr. Newman, the psychologist asserts that this situation can forge an even stronger bond  “Parents and children can accept each other for who they are.”

 

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