Growing older comes with endless physical and lifestyle changes, but navigating aging with humor can make every step of the journey far more enjoyable. Self-described sit-down, stand-up humorist Diane Dean-Epps joins this episode to discuss how laughter serves as an essential coping mechanism through life’s unexpected twists and turns. As the author of Bangs ‘N’ Botox: My Aging Journey Into, Through, and Beyond Denial, Fillers & Human Preservatives and host of the BANGS ‘N’ BOTOX™: Women Who Wear Aging Well show, Diane shares her personal lightbulb moments—from doctor visits to total hip replacements. In this episode, explore how changing your perspective, staying active, and embracing life’s absurdities can help you grow older with gusto.
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Humor Helps! Finding Joy In Aging With Diane Dean-Epps
Embracing The Aging Journey With Humor
Our guest is coming to us from California. Her name is Diane Epps, and she’s a self-described, sit-down, stand-up humorist. That is her style. As she puts it, one that’s preferable with lumbar support and a cup holder, as well as a standing position. Her work can be found in multiple essays, columns, and her most new book has a great title, Bangs ‘N’ Botox: My Aging Journey Into, Through, and Beyond Denial, Fillers & Human Preservatives.
It’s an essential reading for anyone who wants to take a look in the mirror, as we all do, and wonder who’s staring back at them in the reflection. She is also the host of a humor-fueled show called BANGS ‘N’ BOTOX™: Women Who Wear Aging Well. Diane has a lot of things to tell us. She is our second person in weeks talking about humor and how important that is as we grow older. Welcome to the show, Diane.
Thank you so much. I appreciate it.
Diane, you describe yourself as a non-famous, non-influencer Baby Boomer woman who’s successfully navigating a youth-oriented landscape by pivoting into doing writing and performances that focus on the lighter side of life. Can you tell our readers, what was the light bulb that sparked your life as it is now?
That is a mouthful. Good job. You can see my title with my books and stuff. Leave it to a writer. If we’re editing ourselves, we’re just not going to do it, are we? Light bulb moment. I had many. The funny one that distills is the one I talk about. It’s when I went to my wonderful book Gen X doctor and it was my annual visit. He did all the things. They do the blood tests, the workup and check everything out. I brought up a few things about, “I’m experiencing some of these symptoms and wondered.” He leaned in and in all seriousness said, “You’re aging.”
It came to the same conclusion that I’d come too. I know I’m aging. I have a mirror. At first I thought, “What a thing to say to me. How is that helpful?” By the time I got out to the parking lot and I was walking to my car, I was laughing. I thought, “The next humor book has to be the aging thing.” My friends had been telling me, “Your next humor book, you got to do the aging.” That’s just one example. It’s a daily barrage of experiences around this aging face, body and all the things I’m doing and why I’m even getting credit just for breathing these days.
Staying Active, Creative, And Passion-Driven In Later Life
Tell us about your life out in California. What do you find yourself doing with all your free time that makes your life so full and fun and relevant?
I know. It’s like what am I not doing? I feel like some of it’s like a punchline. I knit. I knit scarves for charity. That sounds congruent. What’s the rest of that joke, but it’s true. I write. Thank you for allowing me to talk about this. The audience doesn’t fall asleep. Get some caffeine. BANGS ‘N’ BOTOX™ is a brand. I write under that brand. I have writing. I have merch. I do all that. I do a lot of designing, then I’m working out a lot. I teach a dance class.
What kind of dance?
It has everything. It has Latin, hip-hop and a very inappropriate movement that we call jazz dancing. It’s everything from Ed Sheeran to Shakira to any number of artist prints. May he rest in peace. I do it all very energetically. We have a lot of fun. It’s about dance, but also we share a lot about our lives because a lot of us are of a certain age, which I’m not sure if I like that term, but I’ll go ahead and use it. I have the young ones who come in because we shake it hard. They’re in there. All of that and I do other things. My husband plays music. I go out and listen to him play music. I read. I’m a voracious reader. I have grand Twinkies.
How many and how old?
I have two.
I’m intrigued by your title and your brand. How did you come up with them?
It was from experience. I’m a longtime bangs wearer and my kids, in fact, feel like it’s a party trick. When we’re anywhere, they like to flip my bangs up and show people this pristine landscape that I’ve managed to retain for decades due to bangs wearing. Inadvertently, I didn’t know I was doing a shortcut there, but I’ve also been out there.
No judgment zone for us. I’m going to speak toward women because I’m a woman and that’s my jam. It’s something that if we do want to avail ourselves of Botox, and I’ve done it. If we want to avail ourselves of fillers, I’ve done it. I’ve done other weird human preservative stuff. Eye of newt, yak horn, stuff for my face. The title was like what I was doing, bangs and Botox at the time.
Very cute. Tell us some more about how humor is playing in your life. You gave us the example of going to your doctor and asking some questions. What are some other real-life examples of how you’re using humor on a daily basis?
It’s a coping mechanism that I’ve had for a long time. I’ve always used humor even when things are tricky. I have to say that the humor came along, too. I’ve been writing for years doing humor. I’ve done standup. I’ve been up in front of an audience and trying to be funny. That’s the hardest thing you can do. That’s some tough stuff there. There’s a video out there that makes me nervous. I hope it never surfaces.
The writing and the performing. I performed in plays and all that stuff, and singing but I’m a regular non-famous person. The lines I had were, I feel that I’m going to be the Emily Dickinson of humor writing. I may be discovered posthumously, if at all, because I have a ton of content. I write every day and I publish. I’m all over the place. You can barely escape me online if you start triggering my name. I had to be funny about that. The fact that my career, it’s very full and fun, but it’s not one that I’ve got multiple figures coming in for royalties. I do it based on passion.
If somebody wanted to read some of your essays or even get a daily uplift. Where would they go?
Using Laughter As A Coping Mechanism Through Life’s Challenges
Thank you, Gail. Isn’t she wonderful how she asks you stuff and you can keep talking about yourself? It’s DianeDNeppsWriting.com. Let your fingers do the wandering on your keyboard online and tap in Diane. My whole last name is Dean-Nepps. You’ll discover lots of writing and maybe some other things that as you go through screen after screen, you’ll say, “Look at what she has done.” I’ll just leave it there. Some of it is rather body. You’ll see what I mean if you find it. I’m everywhere. Essays, and some of them are serious essays, but there’s always a little humor embedded in there. You asked about the coping mechanism. When things are tough in life, I also use humor to process things.
How does that work? Tell us how that works.
I process what’s happened like a health challenge. I had a total hip replacement. I basically wore the girl out. We had a lot of fun. The stories we could tell. I had pain every day and it was getting tough. I talked about hips. The questions I get asked now are not about, “What’s your major in college?” It’s, “Who’s your orthopedic surgeon?” I went and got the hip replacement. I was super scared. I was in a lot of pain and I was nervous about the outcome.
I used humor to process how I was feeling about it. It also feels weird when your body parts start wearing out. You know your organic material. It’s not a mystery. People would ask me what happened and like, “I’m aging.” Part of it, but also I’m sure I injured myself multiple times and just kept going. I used humor to process it. I wrote about it, then I felt better. I’m more connected to everybody and their own experience with this. I’m not the only one who is wearing out her body parts.
The parts wear out, as an older friend of mine is always telling me. It’s true. Why do you think humor is so important to us as we grow older and we want to grow older with Gusto? Why is it so important?
To me, I don’t want to become that elder that’s what I call the, “Get off my lawn,” elder, where I’m a curmudgeon and I’m not super inspirational because I’m crabby. I’ve got a story about everything that none of them are good in the way of being uplifting or inspirational. Not taking things too seriously, for one, keeping upbeat, and number two, to connect. When we laugh about the absurdities of life, it’s connected. It also allows us to laugh at ourselves, which is hard for some of us. I love self-deprecating humor because I laugh at myself because I do lots of things that are. They’re pretty humorous to me. They’re sometimes facepalm like, “I can’t believe I said that or did that.”
When we laugh about the absurdities of life, it also allows us to laugh at ourselves, which is hard for some of us.
It’s important as you age. Instead of apologizing, let’s not apologize anymore. Let’s just facepalm and go, “I had a moment there.” It’s important because as you go along, maybe we go along in life and it’s hard for us to retain an agility with what happens in life. Humor is just baked in. If you’re appreciating humor in some way, shape or form, it’s baked in that you’re rolling with stuff and you’re using it to laugh and change the channel. If other people laugh with you, great.
Taking Charge Of Your Happiness And Creating New Opportunities
Now you mentioned in conversation that you have the, if not now when philosophy, about making our own opportunities. What would you tell someone who is an introvert on how to get out and expand their life? Particularly when they go through life’s ups and downs. Maybe losing a husband or having a health issue?
Introvert, extrovert, wherever we are on the line of all that, it’s important to quickly ask ourselves what makes us happy. I know that sounds like, “There’s some wisdom we got from Diane Dean-Epps.” What is left undone that you want to do that you don’t feel like you want to ask? I don’t ask people for permission anymore to do what I want to do. What is that for you?
For me, I’ve been on radio shows. I’ve been a part of a team that hosted radio shows but I thought I’d like my own radio show. That would be super fun where I don’t have to blow it by the editorial team. Ergo launched a podcast. I think I’ve always loved to design. I do graphic design. Not the kind that graphic designers respect, but the kind that’s fun. I wanted to do it with fun merchandise that made people laugh when they see what you’re wearing, then you laugh, and you buy it. I love merchandise.
Tell us about that.
I went ahead. I have BANGS ‘N’ BOTOX™, as I mentioned, as a whole thing. I decided that what I would own is that I’m an active senior. I thought, “Where’s the T-shirt?” I went ahead and designed T-shirts that are active seniors. It’s on an Etsy shop called BANGSNBOTOX. It’s the line. There’s lots of stuff like I’m Aging Not Invisible, and I’m Still Doing All The Things. Why Do You Ask? All the things that I feel. I’ll speak for myself, audience, but can you relate?
That I feel that there are limitations that are put upon me as I go along in life. There’s a shock that I still do boxing even. I do boxing and stuff and people are like, “You’re so inspirational.” I go, “Tell me more about that.” It’s because you’re here. That’s all I need. I’m breathing and I moved. I design all this merch, coffee mugs and all that I want to share with people because it’s funny and we are all going through this.
The Diane Channel: Storytelling, Merch, And Navigating The “Portal of Weird”
Tell us about your show. Do you speak just by yourself? Do you have guests? How does that work?
I speak by myself. I call it the Diane Channel. It allows me to do my sit down stand up, I call it. Which is basically it’s like, you and I are having coffee and we’re at a club. I don’t have to be over there at the mic standing up. We’re sitting at a table. One of those front tables. Those are the people that give me a hard time when I’m doing stand-up. We’re sitting at that table. We’re having a good time. My show is thematic. I use a story, Storytime with Diane, that themes it up. The last one was called Portal of Weird, because I feel like in life, sometimes things are not necessarily bad or good, but things get weird. Something’s just weird. You go some portal just opened up.
In life, sometimes things are not necessarily bad or good, but things get weird.
Can you give us an example of what that was?
I had one weird thing. I didn’t talk about it in my show. It’s hard because some things are very personal. I talked about how I teach a dance class. In this dance class, I talk about inclusion and love is love. I have to set it up. We’re all in this room together to just connect. Whatever our beliefs are, it doesn’t matter. In this room, it’s safe. I had one of the dancers email me and tell me that she didn’t appreciate me preaching against the Bible. I was like, “What happened?”
My Wiccan playlist didn’t go over. That’s my joke. I didn’t have any witchy music or anything. It was just more about that person and whatever weird stuff was going on for that individual. That’s when the portal is weird, wide open. Where did that even come from? Those kinds of things. There are many. The show allows me to talk about what we all may be experiencing. Tell a story. I do recommendations. I call them something.
I also provide a quote and then I give a motivation, like, “This is what I want you to think about related to the theme so that you can self-actualize because you’re amazing.” It’s all about telling the person, my three fans, that they’re amazing and buoying them up. I enjoy that. I enjoy being inspirational. I’m a retired classroom teacher. I’m hardwired to share with folks how amazing they are because they are.
Where can people find your show?
Thank you so much for asking. I’m on an Apple Podcast. I’m on YouTube. That’s an easy place to find me. YouTube. It’s BANGS ‘N’ BOTOX™: Women Who Wear Aging Well, but if you hit BANGS ‘N’ BOTOX™, it’s there.
Is that how you found me?
I’m not sure. I did specifically find you online, which was great because I love that line, Growing Older with Gusto. How else would you want to grow older?
I agree.
Humor is a great way to just move on quickly.
All the places. It’s positive.
Thank you. Anyway, I’m out of questions unless you have anything else you want to add to the conversation. This has been fun. It was such hard work.
The things we went through to do. Your new favorite episode of the show, this will be it. Put it on repeat. I would say, dear audience, I encourage you no matter what, make sure and ask yourself the questions all the time. Are you happy? What are you doing? You can be passion powered. It doesn’t have to make you money, but if it does, yay you. Make sure that you connect with people who lift you up. It’s important that you hang around.
Maybe you have that friend that you’ve had for 30 years, 40 years, or 80 years. If they’re a real downer, then maybe pivot toward the light side and give humor as a coping mechanism a try. It might just be a meme or something that is simple or a picture that makes you laugh. It’s a still picture, old school. I encourage you. Humor is a great way to just move on quickly.
I agree. Thank you so much, Diane Dean-Epps for joining me. To my readers, remember to stay connected and curious.
Important Links
- Diane Dean-Epps
- Diane Dean-Epps on Facebook
- Diane Dean-Epps on LinkedIn
- BANGSNBOTOX
- Bangs ‘N’ Botox: My Aging Journey Into, Through, and Beyond Denial, Fillers & Human Preservatives
- BANGS ‘N’ BOTOX™: Women Who Wear Aging Well on YouTube
- BANGS ‘N’ BOTOX™: Women Who Wear Aging Well on Spotify
- BANGS ‘N’ BOTOX™: Women Who Wear Aging Well on Apple Podcast
About Diane Dean-Epps
As the creative mind behind her “sit-down standup” style of humor writing Diane Dean-Epps has proven that comedy is just as effective from a chair—preferably one with lumbar support and a cup holder—as it is from a standing position.
Her lively humor has found a home in multiple books, including Bangs ‘N’ Botox: My Aging Journey Into, Through, and Beyond Denial, Fillers & Human Preservatives, the latter essential reading for anyone who’s ever looked in the mirror and gasped at what time hath wrought.
Diane’s career has offered up a bountiful buffet of opportunities—sometimes concurrently—in industries as diverse as media, education, marketing, entertainment, and fitness leading to incredible feats of multi-tasking. This explains her matchless ability to deliver a punchline, grade essays, post social media updates, and draft stories as she assumes the plank position for one minute and 22 seconds.
Currently residing in northern California, Diane writes and performs in productions both planned and—much to the surprise of unsuspecting bystanders—unplanned. Her audiences are (mostly) entertained, and she considers that a solid win.
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